Last week, my phone interrupted my work with a call from my credit union--or at least that's what my caller ID said. After I answered, an automated voice said there had been suspicious activity and that I should call an 800 number I knew was not the credit union's number.
I hung up and called my credit union directly since I was not sure whether scammers can spoof my caller ID or not.
I then bypassed the awful phone tree that too often took me to people who live far away and who are unable to help me. I've learned that I need to say "representative" twice instead of trying to tell the computer what my problem is about so they can "direct my call." It's such a relief to know I can do this that it's hard for me to express. It sounds minor but saved me at least 15 minutes of trouble, so this small thing definitely helped me stay calm.
Then the kind representative told me that, yes, I did have an alert on my account. Someone had taken 300 dollars and then 100 dollars out of an ATM in Puyallup the day before. The rep guessed that I may have used a card reader with a skimmer or shimmer--devices placed on top of or inside the legitimate card reader--which are then used to steal my data. I checked my wallet and I still had the physical card.
The representative then credited my account back right away and filed an appeal on my behalf. That will most likely be decided in my favor, he said, since it's a pretty clear case of fraud with their initial alert. My card was shut down and the nefarious thieves cannot use it again.
He told me that I was wise to call rather than do what the recording said and use a different number. Scammers can indeed spoof caller ID. At one point, he said he appreciated how calm I was. (I imagine many are not. I think I'll credit my yoga practice for part of that.)
And he also told me it was not my fault. I didn't know how much I needed to hear that until he said it.
I can't be sure which machine the thieves used. It could have been a gas station but I rather suspect the vending machine at Fred Meyer where my son and I bought his friend a pack of Pokémon cards for his friend's birthday. I remember that it was glitchy and I know I had to put my PIN in twice because it didn't work the first time. It was right after that transaction that my card was compromised.
I hesitated at first to write this up and post it. It feels like we all have so many things that activate our nervous systems lately, and I really don't want to add to the distress. But after talking to a few close friends, I decided that posting this felt like the right move. We are living in a world that doesn't have a lot of physical lions, and tigers, and bears so you don't need to scan the horizon for those anymore.
However, here are a few things I learned about avoiding and then recovering from attacks from the more modern predators. I'm sharing them with you in hopes of helping you avoid what happened to me and to recover when you do have an issue.
Watch for skimmers and shimmers. Be appropriately suspicious if the card reader is behaving oddly. After dealing with my account, I did call Fred Meyer to report what happened to me. They said they had a device that can detect skimmers and would check the Pokémon vending machine right away. I felt relieved that they took me seriously and I liked thinking that I might help someone else avoid the same situation. I suppose you could call making that call and writing this to you an antidote to the pain of having someone steal from me.
If you are curious about how the skimmers and shimmers work and want to know what to look for, you can read more here from PC Magazine and Bankrate.
It's good to be comfortable with your money and manage it well. It was an enormous help in my situation that I knew how to reach that local person and that I'm familiar with how to access my account information. That only happened because of my more recent practices with my finances.
A few years back I started what I call "money mothering." It took me a while to come up with a term for this way of approaching money management. It began when I realized how much I needed to carefully track our family expenses and skillfully manage our resources. For most of my life, this had been a terrible struggle and it was only after I found some wise guides that I was able to make this shift, eventually coming up with a new way to treat my money.
If you'd like to approach your money with less fear, I suggest finding friends who manage their money well and ask them how they do it. Look for ones who save and spend appropriately, not ones who hold on too tightly or seem to be driven by a fear of lack. I bet if you look around, you will see a few who mother their money well.
You might also check out a book like the Art of Money. This title appealed to me because it has art in the title and because the book helped me deal with my emotions around money, something I found incredibly important.
For a short time, I also worked with a financial therapist named Rachel Duncan. It was especially powerful for me to talk to her and look for creative ways to be mindful about my resources. There are a growing number of therapists who specialize in finances and you may find a few sessions will make a big difference for you too.
Don't respond to unknown callers but DO follow through by calling your financial institutions directly in case there is a real problem.
Stay calm the best you can if a thief has succeeded in stealing from you. Try some deep belly breathing. This has a good chance of allowing you to respond with grace to those who are trying to help you recover from a theft. It doesn't hurt to practice yoga and meditation regularly and in advance.
Remember that it's not your fault. Sure there are things you can and will do to prevent money scams and theft in the future but we are all human. As humans, we are all vulnerable no matter how we wish we weren't. Blaming yourself for someone else's bad behavior won't bring your money back and makes it harder for the more rational parts of your brain to make good choices and move forward.
Take a deep breath and let the air out slowly. Remember the feeling of walking outside or the final resting pose after a good yoga class.
And if you want extra practice with slowing down and counteracting the chaos of our technological world, you might even try coming to the retreat I'm leading with Beth Prevo on March 15. I can't promise that your debit card information will never be stolen but you may be able to handle it with a little more grace by stepping away for a day with us.
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